Holiday Company
by The Seitz
Summary: What do you do when you're Two-Face and it's time to make some holiday descisions?


Holiday Company  
By The Seitz  
  
  
Christmas is almost here again.  
  
/No kidding, good thing I keep you around or else we'd be lost wouldn't we?/  
  
Your funny.  
  
/Some one around here needs to be. /  
  
Your crazy too.  
  
/Shut up Dent./  
  
Why? It's true. You're nuttier than a squirrel, you're one sandwich short of a picnic-  
  
/Shut up Dent./  
  
One card short of a full deck-  
  
/Shut up./  
  
You've got Bats in-  
  
/I SAID SHUT UP!!!/  
  
No! You've messed me up well beyond repair, now I'm gonna mess with you!  
  
/No way dip wad, it doesn't work like that. You don't decide things for us, get the coin out./  
  
No. I'm making my own call on this. It's my life and I can-  
  
/Our life. Get the coin out./  
  
NO! I won't let a coin tell me what to do anymore.  
  
/Right. I'm only gonna say it one more time. Get out the damn coin./  
  
*Sigh*  
  
/I thought so. You know how it works, good heads you keep blabbing, Bad heads means you shut our mouth./  
  
*ting*  
  
Damnit.  
  
/That's right, now shut up with the crazy talk. /  
  
What crazy talk? It all true. You're nuts  
  
/Wrong again Harvey. We're nuts./  
  
I know. . . .I know.  
  
/But we digress. We've been a good boy Harvey, the powers that be are actually letting us decorate the cell a bit for Christmas. It's time to make some home improvement decisions./  
  
Please don't make me do this. . .   
  
/Sorry Dent, but you know I can't do this alone. So what's first on the agenda? Do we take the little fake Christmas tree or stocking?/  
  
I don't care.  
  
/Of course you do. Now, good heads means tree and bad heads means stocking. Flip it. /  
  
*ting*  
  
Happy? We get a tree.   
  
/I'm happy if you are Harvey./  
  
I'll bet.  
  
/But there's so much more to decide./  
  
Like what?  
  
/We get to call some one and ask them to visit us. We get a whole hour visit Harvey who should we call?/  
  
I know where your going with this and you better just drop it.  
  
/Hmm. . .we know so many people I just can't think of who we should ask for a visit. Hey I know-/  
  
I'm serious don't even say it.  
  
/We could call up Renee! I'm sure she'd just LOVE to see us for Christmas./  
  
Shut up.  
  
/Maybe we can even arrange a congeal visit. Seeing as she about the finest piece of tail we know-/  
  
SHUT UP!  
  
/Or else what? You gonna punch me in the FACE? Maybe you've forgotten this, but my side doesn't bruise as easily as yours!/  
  
I hate you.  
  
/But your stuck with me./  
  
Don't remind me.  
  
/Oh don't be all grumpy. And your right, lets not invite Renee. We can call up the folks. I'm sure Mom and Dad would love to sit down and reminisce with us for an hour./  
  
Shut up.   
  
/What? You could talk about childhood memories. Like the time Mom locked us in the closet for almost three days with no food or water./  
  
This isn't funny.  
  
/Or we could talk to Dad about the big leather belt with the metal buckle he would beat us with. I bet he still has it around. We could ask him to bring it./  
  
I'm serious, shut the hell up.  
  
/What's the matter Harv? Renee isn't looking to bad right now is she?/  
  
Fine we can ask Renee to come.  
  
/Oh no Dent. All this talk about the folks made me homesick. I want Mom and Dad to come and say hi on Christmas./  
  
No way you sick freak.  
  
/Harvey?/  
  
. . .   
  
/Harvey?/  
  
. . .  
  
/Haaaaaarveeeeyyyy?/  
  
What.  
  
/It isn't your call./  
  
No, please. Don't make us do this. The abuse never happened to you. You weren't there.  
  
/The abuse made me the happy man I am today Dent. I just want to say thanks. /  
  
Please don't.  
  
/Nope, like I said, we don't have a say. Flip the coin./  
  
No, please. . .I can't face them again.   
  
/Fifty-fifty shot Harv. You might get lucky. Flip it./  
  
Please, I can't do this, if I lose. . .I can't face them anymore.  
  
/Nice try Harvey, but there isn't any "I" in TEAM remember./  
  
*sigh*  
  
*ting* 


End file.
